Some people see happiness as an elusive “pot of gold and the end of a rainbow” idea. In other words, they don’t really think they can have it. Some don’t even think they deserve it.
The truth is that in order to have happiness (or better yet, joy) you have to let go of the things that are robbing you of happiness. If any of these following things are in your life they are taking up the space that happiness could fill. Until you empty a space for happiness it will not be able to be a part of your life.
Fear: It’s time to stop being so afraid and instead feel worthy. Fear stems from many things and one of them is unworthiness. Even when their bank accounts are full, people fear not being able to pay the bills. Even when their relationships are stronger than ever, people fear losing those closest to them. Even when life hands people everything they’ve ever asked for, people fear that it’s temporary.
Fear is the devil telling you that you’re unworthy. It’s time to replace fear with the belief that you are worthy of happiness. Because you are!
Excuses: “Excuses are monuments of nothingness. They build bridges to nowhere. Those who use these tools of incompetence, seldom become anything but nothing at all.” Ouch! Harsh but accurate. We’ve all made them (many times without realizing it). Does one ever just roll off your tongue? An excuse can be as silly as not mowing the lawn because it might rain (but probably won’t).
Excuses are ways of getting out of doing things that are uncomfortable, unappealing, boring, difficult, annoying or inconvenient. But happiness is acquired through hard work and doing things that are sometimes difficult (like picking up and moving somewhere safer to live or ending a bad friendship to make room for good ones). Give up excuses, make positive changes and happiness will find its way into your life.
Expectations: Nothing makes you feel like you’ve fallen short quite like expectations. If you expect to be instantly happy when you move to a new city, or get engaged, or quit your job, or cut your hair, or get plastic surgery, or find “the one”, or ________, then you’ll be left wondering why you’re still not happy once you get those things. Happiness doesn’t show up when something new happens in your life. Happiness shows up when you let go of your expectations of happiness. It shows up when you realize that today has just as much potential for happiness that tomorrow has.
Comparisons: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” is one of Theodore Roosevelt’s most well-known quotes. Comparisons (much like expectations) rob us of any and all happiness. When you compare yourself to others you take away the value in what you have and who you are. Once you see someone else as having more or having better than you, you’ve decided that what you have isn’t any good.
You can’t compare yourself to others and be happy at the same time. It’s one or the other.
Resistance: In his book, The War of Art, Steven Pressfield talks in depth about the war we wage against resistance on a daily basis. Resistance (as Pressfield puts it) shows up every time we want to better ourselves- anytime we want to do something that will positively impact our lives.
How many times have you sat down at your desk to work only to find yourself organizing everything from your pencils to your sticky notes?
Resistance will always get in the way if you let it. If you want happiness you have to give it up!
Destructive Self-Talk: Your self-talk has the power to make or break you. Self-talk comes from the beliefs you allow to influence your life. These can be good beliefs or bad beliefs. A good belief that becomes your self-talk -for example- is the belief that you have value that you must share with the world. A negative belief that becomes your self-talk is the belief that you are worthless and that you have nothing of value to share with the world.
One of these will make you unstoppable and the other will stop you right in your tracks.
Your self-talk is as important to your success as the air you breathe is important to your survival. To be happy, joyful, successful, etc. you must get rid of destructive self-talk.